


Don’t Do It Again

by FirePurpleStar



Category: Kings of Paradise (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirePurpleStar/pseuds/FirePurpleStar
Relationships: Sagara Yosuke/Main Character





	Don’t Do It Again

Life with Yosuke was wonderful, she had never been happier. True, they bumped heads and had their disagreements, but he made her happy she made him happy. It was still new, but being with Yosuke was like breathing, it was easy and comfortable. Before she had met Yosuke she wasn’t the happiest person.  
She had been married to Tomohiro, and though Tomohiro was aware of her unhappiness and she had gone to the doctor to be properly diagnosed with depression. Tomohiro only ever treated it as an inconvenience and a nuisance. In their marriage, she had no support from Tomohiro, and even worse the loneliness was all-encompassing. She was being swallowed and eaten alive.  
No amount of prescription pills could pull her out of her despair. That is until she met Yosuke. He brought light into her life, he would make sure she knew how much he loved her. He would show her until she couldn’t walk the next day. She had told Yosuke that she suffered from depression and that it was managed by her doctor.  
He did what he could when she had a depressive episode. He would give her space and let her sleep all day if that’s what she needed. He would hold her while she cried over nothing and everything. She had come a long way from the frail woman that she was then to the almost confident woman she is now.   
Yosuke had always loved to spoil her, even if she thought it was too much. He just wanted to show her how much she means to him. He had bought her new clothes along with matching shoes. He was so excited that he decided to go into her room and put away the clothes and shoes.  
As he began hanging up the shirts and dresses a box fell from the shelf in the closet to the floor scattering the contents on the floor. A leather-bound book caught his attention. He began to flip through the book when he realized it was her diary. He would never do anything to invade her privacy. That would be crossing a big line, he couldn’t do that to her. He started to close the book when some worrisome words popped out at him.   
She had written about her depression, and her ex-husband and how miserable she had been. He continued to read on, he gasped and covered his mouth with his hand. As he read a tear began to roll down his cheek. As he turned the page a metal object fell out, he bent down to pick it up. He saw it glinting up at him, and he stopped in his tracks unable to move. To think his beloved wasn’t being completely honest and even worse was that she was hurting herself. He took in a shaky breath and reached down with a trembling hand and picked up the object.   
It was a razor with splotches of dried blood on it, he couldn’t believe his eyes. He sat down on her bed just staring at the razor in his hand. Tears were running continuously down his face, he felt like his chest was splitting in half. He was heartbroken, how could someone he loves so completely be hurting herself like this. Does she want to end her life that badly? Isn’t he enough for her?   
Just as his thoughts were spinning in his mind not making any sense to him anymore. He heard the front door close, making him jump. He just stayed there, stunned not finding the energy to stand up. “ Yosuke?” _ _ _ called out “ Yosuke where are you?” She began walking around the apartment looking for him.   
“ C’mon Yosuke I wanted to tell you about these donuts I found today. I brought some home for you to try.” She set down the box of donuts on the table and kept looking for him. eventually, she went into her bedroom. She saw Yosuke sitting on her bed with tears running down his face and his head down. “Yosuke what’s wrong?" She rushed into the bedroom but stopped when she saw the mess on the floor with her diary in Yosuke’s lap. Then she looked at his hands, and he was holding the razor between his pointer finger and thumb.  
She felt angry, he had read her diary! What was he thinking?! “How could you?! Why would you read my diary?!” She started shouting at him, but he still didn’t move “Are you even listening to me?!” She could feel the rage building up inside her. When he looked up with his beautiful orbs that usually held so much joy and kindness. They were red and distant he wasn’t hearing her he was deaf from how loud his thoughts were.  
When he looked at her she knew he was hurting. “Why?” He asked quietly so quietly she couldn’t hear him, so she moved closer. “what?” He looked into her confused eyes, but he couldn’t waver he wouldn’t, not this time. This was a conversation they had to have.   
“Why would you try to take your life? Don’t do that to me, I can’t live without you. I can’t even breathe without you.“  
She sat next to him on the bed. She took the razor and her diary slipping the razor back in the diary and placing it behind them on the bed.“Yosuke, look at me.” He looked up with fresh tears in his eyes. “ I’m not trying to kill myself. I’m happy here with you.” He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. “Then what’s with the razor?” She took his hand, “ this is going to be hard for me to talk about, but I’ll do it because I love you and I never want to lose you, so please just listen to what I have to say.”  
He squeezed her hand to try to convey that he was willing to listen. “It started when I was married to Tomohiro, he started staying late at work and leaving early in the morning. I was lonely and I had no one to talk to. He wasn’t exactly supportive of me either. I was in a lot of pain. I started cutting myself” Yosuke closed his eyes tight wincing at her words. She tightened her hold on his hand.  
“ I wanted to feel something, anything I felt so devoid of emotion.” Yosuke opened his eyes, “I’ve never noticed any scars.” She brought his hand to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. “ okay I’ll show you." She stood up and slipped her stockings down then took off her skirt. So she was in just a shirt and her panties. He watched her with anticipation. She sat down next to him on the bed, and opened her legs and turned them a bit “ I always did it on my inner thighs. I didn’t want anyone to know.” He looked at the scars, some looked deeper than others. “ How have I never noticed this before?!” He said shocked at what she was showing him.  
He put his hand on her thigh and looked her deep in the eyes studying her. “_ _ _, ..... God, please tell me you aren’t doing this anymore.” He said shakily still trying to calm down. “ I haven’t done it since we’ve been together.” Yosuke’s lips curved slightly. Then he immediately frowned “ Wait... Since we’ve been together? Did you do it while you lived here?” She took a deep breath “yes” There was a deep crease that formed between Yosuke’s eyebrows.  
“ When did you last do it?” She looked down at her hands feeling guilty “ The day I went to China.” Yosuke couldn’t contain himself, he wrapped his arms around her small body. Hugging her tightly, “ Good god! I don’t think I’ve been so scared in my life. I think that just aged me ten years.” She kissed his cheek, and he pulled back, putting his large hands on her cheeks. “Don’t do this anymore _ _ _. I can’t bear to see you hurting yourself. To me you are perfect.”  
She smiled slightly, “ Promise me...Promise me that you won’t do this anymore that you won’t hurt yourself anymore.” He lifted her head so she was looking directly in his eyes “ I promise” He let out a breath “ Also, promise me that if you get the urge to do it EVER again you will tell me right away.” She didn’t even have to think of her answer “I will” He kissed her forehead and dropped his hands from her face to her shoulders “ You aren’t alone anymore, you never will be so long as you’re with me. You have no idea how much I love you.”   
“ If this starts happening again, I want you to see a therapist. I am here for you, I want you to depend on me and need me.” She was shocked at how serious he was being, but she knew it was because he deeply cared for her. He suddenly stood up and offered his hand to her. “Come with me,” He said as he grabbed her diary and dragged her out of the room to the kitchen right in front of the trash can. He stepped on the foot pedal so the lid flipped open.  
"Throw the razor away, you don’t need it anymore.” Her eyes went wide “ I can’t” He gave her a frustrated glare “ You can, and you will. I believe in you.” He handed the diary to her. She took it with trembling hands, but she wasn’t just going to get rid of the razor. She was going to get rid of that entire part of her life, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes tight and looked the opposite way as she dropped the diary and the razor along with it into the trash can. To be forever rid of it, to be rid of the reminder. She looked forward to the future. To be wrapped up in Yosuke’s consuming, warmth, and passionate love. “Good girl” he pulled her towards him to kiss the top of her head and hold her tight. “ I love you _ _ _.” She smiled “ I love you too Yosuke, I really really do.” He smiled “Good” and he lifted her chin to kiss her passionately.


End file.
